The History of Humans

Or: Why we think we will eventually figure out faster-than-light travel

Nature: You're basically a prey species. You've got no claws, no fangs, no fur, no real defenses...

Humans: Hey look we sharpened some sticks. Bring it.

Nature: Okay, but you're still really slow and small compared to things like bison and deer.

Humans: We don't need to be fast, there's a bunch of us and we can walk for days carrying our pointy sticks. We'll just follow food until it's tired and then it's stabbity times.

Nature: Okay but you're still cold and probably die in winter.

Humans: Hey look you can use pointy sticks to make fire. And after you stab an animal you can eat the inside and wear the outside. Also, P.S. We used fire to melt this rock and then it turned into a liquid that we poured into some clay shaped like a sharp thing and now that melted rock is a really sharp thing.

Nature: Okay but you're still limited by the animals and plants around you, there's only so many calories to go around.

Humans: Hey look if we get this animal to breed with this animal the kids are bigger and tastier. Also it works with plants. Also we bred the nicest wolves we could find and now they like us. We made enough extra calories to support cuddly house wolves!

Nature: Well, you still can't fly. Ha.

Humans: Hmmmmm. think for a few centuries, build up industry and science and art and math and literature and different forms of government and faiths and cuisine and fossil fuel distillation and finally...


Nature: At least stay in the atmosphere!

Humans: MAKE US.

Nature: Well stay off of the space rocks, those aren't for you, you're a prey species.

Humans: Sorry can't hear you busy landing a robot on an asteroid!